Hopelessly Hopeful

Being single, sometimes the thought pops into my head: if I could choose anyone to fall in love with me, who would it be? My latest crush or the guy next door? The millionaire or the artist? Captain America or even… the Bieber?

Just kidding.

Yet, as I toy with choosing someone to love me, I realize that what I truly want is a guy who would choose me as I would him. In other words, I don’t want to pick the Captain America if he wouldn’t pick me back with the same enthusiasm. I can’t pick – I don’t want to pick – someone who wouldn’t choose me too. Who wouldn’t chase me and never let go.

Searching a philosophic explanation, I turn to my faith. Even if you’re not religious, I dare you to either acknowledge that God’s story provides an example – or to challenge my words. For this is what God does in love: creates us with free will, rather than creating us to automatically love him. Forced love is not love, but love in choice is complete.

So what is love? You’ve heard of this quote before, but have you read it? REALLY read it?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Love is being completely selfless for another. It’s a conquering, a killing, a sacrifice, of self for something greater. It’s a dreadful challenge that oddly enough results in joy, because it’s a triumph over what you want for the wants of another.

Loving a future spouse is similar to loving your family. What I mean is, no matter how our parents mistreat us, no matter how our siblings might scream at us, it’s impossible not to be connected with them – to care about them – in some way. The same happens in marriage. There may be times when I hate my guy – feel like running from him – but no matter what, I’ll love him beneath it all. Unconditional love.

I remember my older siblings reminding me as a little girl that they would love me no matter what. I was amazed, and would ask wide-eyed, "Would you love me even if I stole something?" Then I would continue in a higher-pitched voice, "Even if I KILLED somebody?" The answer was always yes.

Is love possible?

I don’t know if he’s out there: the funny, smart, handsome, kind, aMAZing man I am to marry. But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop hoping for my future best friend (P.S. you shouldn’t either).

Let me explain.

I believe that if we can visualize something with our imagination, then such an image also contains a piece of truth outside our mind. We can picture a warm breeze caressing our face; the sensation exists. We can envision diving under the sea, trailing after dolphins; it could happen.

I’m not saying that if we imagine a ferocious twenty-eyed monster creeping from the closet, such a creature exists. It doesn’t. However, monsters do prowl about in different forms: things or people that attempt to tear us apart. Thus, I figure if I can imagine my guy – if I can imagine a fairytale love – then perhaps there is a fraction of truth to it.

Call me naïve, gullible, optimistic, young… perhaps I am. But don’t assume my words mean I am a stranger to a horrendous world with malevolent people. I do know pain. I have seen evil. Yet, I’m a believer that we can’t live dreams unless we dream them first – that if we must live, we might as well laugh rather than cry. It’s a choice.

G.K. Chesterton writes, “Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” I’ll add: Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us love exists, but because they tell us we can fall in love.

And so I wait…

I wait for the guy who will one day choose to love me, as I will him. 

[P.S. You should comment. And follow :)]